Friendgirls

Why is it that people can never seem to tell me what's really going on? Do they think it will offend my delicate sensiblities? Because news flash, I'm not delicate. No woman worth anything is. Love the facade though don't you?

See, I've noticed this before with men. I know my guys, friends or more than, have friendgirls. I don't expect them to just hang out with the guys. As such, I have friendboys, and I state in the beginning of anything, that I will hang out with my friendboys when I want. No questions asked. I do not hide the fact that I have them, I do not hide the fact that I hang out with them. Some of said friendboys I have dated in the past, so there will always be that slight flirtation. But only in the comfortable, I can say what I want, know that you still sometimes still think about sleeping with me, but you know it's not going anywhere kind of way.

Guys don't play the same angle. Sure, they may state in the beginning of anything that they have "female friends". DUH. Really? But they like to play it off as though they don't see them all that much. And we as the understanding, wonderful gals that we are, will just nod and smile and play along. We know better. We know that everytime you hang out with the boys, it goes something like, "Hey, I'm going out with Mike and Steve tonight, is it cool if we hang out tomorrow?" Easy, straighforward, no problems there. But, when you hang out with other girls, it sounds more like, " Hey, I'm going to hang out with a few friends tonight, can I call you later?" Does anyone see the difference in statements? I do.

For some reason, guys will say their guy friends' names, but won't say their girl friends' names. Now granted, this may be to protect their relationship, be it what it may, from the jealousy that ALL girls are capable of. But, in the long run, we know better, and it eats at us that they cannot be truthful. THE TRUTH HURTS LESS! If she's just a friend, then it should be no big deal. If you feel you have to hide it, then it makes you look guilty. Guilty gets you in trouble. We may not call you on it right away. We may let it stew for awhile, and then, when you least expect it, BAM!!- we'll blindside you with it. You don't want that. That leads to bigger problems. Honesty is always the best policy. If she can't take the fact that you had friends before she existed in your life, your best chance is to cut and run anyway. This is the woman who needs it to be all about her, and if she's uncomfortable with your friends, then she's never going to trust you, and your life will start to suck. Who needs that?

And then on the flip side, if you guys expect us to be okay with hanging out with your friends, then you need to chill when we hang out with ours. Yes, we know that all of our guy friends have at one point or another, drunk or sober, thought about hooking up with us. But unless your girl's an A-Dub (attention whore), we really don't care. We've had crushes on our friends. It usually amounts to nothing, we get over it and move on. Eventually, once we've helped them with every single relationship fiasco, he's not all that appealing to us anymore. But girls being what they are (high maintenance friends), we like to sometimes just hang with the boys. We expect that you will understand that, as you like to hang with your boys too. We appreciate the fact that you care, are worried that someone will try to take advantage, yada yada yada. But being as we've made it this far without you, I think we can handle our own. And seeing you jealous and act stupid about it, does not turn us on. We then look at you like a child that needs to placated, not like the man we thought we were dating. So cool it.

All in all, friendboys and friendgirls, you have them, own up to it. Think long term honesty vs. for the moment keeping the peace, and you'll survive just fine.