If you had asked me 8 years ago what I would be doing at 30, I would have told you without hesitating that I would be celebrating 6 years of marriage, living in Redondo Beach and have 2 children under my belt. I would never have considered for a second that I might be a single parent living in San Pedro, credit shot to hell, overextended and underpaid. I had a plan! But of course, 8 years ago I was 22 and what the hell did I know?
That's the funny thing about plans: they never end up how you think they will. At least mine don't. Ever. I wake up some mornings and wonder how I got here. But then I look over at my sleeping child and I know that I wouldn't change a thing. People often ask themselves if they could go back in time and change it, would they? I have pondered that same question, and even knowing what I know now, I know that I would go back and do exactly what I did before. I honestly believe that we do the best we can as we're doing it. Unless we're psychopaths, in which case, yikes. But the average person is a good person.
We make choices, good or bad. The outcome isn't known until it's done, and every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Our lives are dictated by the choices we make, and every choice made after is a product of that first one. It's a constant domino effect. I chose to destroy the relationship I had at 22. The one that might have landed me solidly in my 'plan'. I had my reasons for doing so, and I did. And every choice I've made since then has landed me here, wondering what today's choices will bring.
