v-day....schmee day

Current mood: annoyed

okay, i'm going to say it....FCUK Hallmark holidays! every other radio commercial right now is a blast to buy crap for Valentine's Day. i go to the grocery store and there are red hearts, candy, and those stupid stuffed bears every damn where. why do people buy into this crap?

seriously, why should we designate one day a year to show someone how much we care about them? shouldn't we be doing stuff here and there all year long? just because? oh, but noooo, we have to have a set holiday, where let's be serious, it's all based on consumerism. and it's all about the girl? why on earth is it all about the girl? i had a friend once tell me that she wanted her BF to buy her a Dooney & Burke purse ($400) for Valentine's Day. do i EVER hear my guy friends saying, 'oh yeah, i really want my GF to get me that new PS2 game for v-day?' nope.

so here we have one day that is slanted in one direction, you are bombarded by reminders from the second that Christmas ends, you have to have your dinner reservations by the middle of January otherwise you're SCREWED! and even if you do have reservations, you're still dealing with a 2 hour wait! and if you try and go somewhere nice, you don't get the full menu, no, you get a limited menu of stuff that you may or may not want to eat because the kitchen is so slammed cranking out meals.

you become, on february 14th, nothing but a cog in the wheel of consumerism. and for all the people who don't want to get sucked into the joke of a holiday (which i swear, Hallmark made this all up) you can't go out to dinner if you want to, and if you stay home, then you get to watch Dr. Phil on primetime talking to Paula Abdul about her love life. gee. makes you want to just make reservations so you don't get stuck with THAT. i personally intend to celebrate Ground Hog's Day this year in lieu of V-Day.

full circle

i just finished a book that i received for christmas. normally, i would have done this weeks ago, being the ridiculously quick reader that i am, however, life in general has kept me rather busy. the book was essentially 45 years of notes passed, letters sent, and emails/instant messaging between two best friends. a boy and a girl. they went through their entire lives, marriages, babies, failures, triumphs, deaths, everything, separate from each other. part of it was denial that they could ever be together themselves, and part was a few wrong turns. at the end of the book, they finally got together, which you knew they'd eventually do. of course, you didn't figure that they'd be 50 years old when it finally happened. and there was that bittersweetness to having them finally be together. knowing that they had wasted(?) so many years by being apart.

but that got me thinking about all the friendships that we have growing up and as adults. the people that pass through our lives. maybe timing really is everything. maybe we just have to go our own separate ways until everything has marinated enough. for myself, i know that who i was at 21 is only a small part of me now. my responsibilities, maturity, the way i look at the world and everyone in it and around me has changed dramatically. and this is only in 4 short years. imagine, 45 years. my parents and grandparents will say that 45 years goes by in a heartbeat. but looking at it from this side of 30, it would seem such a waste to miss out on all that time. there is of course the old cliche of 'better late than never', which in some instances is true. you can't always live for the 'now'. but i don't want to miss a thing. there's nothing wrong with some things coming full circle, i'm experiencing that in my life now, but i don't know that i can wait 45 years to complete that circle and deny myself the perfect fit. maybe that's the remainder of my childish immaturity speaking. all good things worth having are worth waiting for, i know, i know.

i think i'll just have to follow this by reading a book that has the happy ending at an earlier age.

un-resolve

i don't believe in new year's resolutions. if i had to resolve to do something, it would be to not have a new year's resolution. i know i should give up smoking (again), but i should do it because i need to, not because it's january first. i know i should make it a habit of doing my laundry once a week, but let's face it, i'm busy, and i have enough underwear and clothing to go a month without thinking about it. i know that i should stay home more, drink less, or join a gym. there's a million things that i should resolve to do. but being the stubborn female that i am, i won't do it just because i should. i'll get around to it eventually when i feel like it, whatever that 'it' ends up being. one at a time and never in order. i never really understood new year's resolutions anyway. people will make one, and maybe they'll be good for a month, or two, or a week. some don't make it a day. so what is the point? to start a year with a clean slate? to me, it just doesn't work that way. every year is just an extension of the last. you'll still have the same family, the same friends. more than likely the same job. you'll live in the same place in the same town in the same state. you'll have the same memories and just be the same person that you were on december thirty-first. why should you change something just to say you did? something that you'll go back on anyway? my non-resolution resolution is perfect. i never go back on it.