full circle

i just finished a book that i received for christmas. normally, i would have done this weeks ago, being the ridiculously quick reader that i am, however, life in general has kept me rather busy. the book was essentially 45 years of notes passed, letters sent, and emails/instant messaging between two best friends. a boy and a girl. they went through their entire lives, marriages, babies, failures, triumphs, deaths, everything, separate from each other. part of it was denial that they could ever be together themselves, and part was a few wrong turns. at the end of the book, they finally got together, which you knew they'd eventually do. of course, you didn't figure that they'd be 50 years old when it finally happened. and there was that bittersweetness to having them finally be together. knowing that they had wasted(?) so many years by being apart.

but that got me thinking about all the friendships that we have growing up and as adults. the people that pass through our lives. maybe timing really is everything. maybe we just have to go our own separate ways until everything has marinated enough. for myself, i know that who i was at 21 is only a small part of me now. my responsibilities, maturity, the way i look at the world and everyone in it and around me has changed dramatically. and this is only in 4 short years. imagine, 45 years. my parents and grandparents will say that 45 years goes by in a heartbeat. but looking at it from this side of 30, it would seem such a waste to miss out on all that time. there is of course the old cliche of 'better late than never', which in some instances is true. you can't always live for the 'now'. but i don't want to miss a thing. there's nothing wrong with some things coming full circle, i'm experiencing that in my life now, but i don't know that i can wait 45 years to complete that circle and deny myself the perfect fit. maybe that's the remainder of my childish immaturity speaking. all good things worth having are worth waiting for, i know, i know.

i think i'll just have to follow this by reading a book that has the happy ending at an earlier age.